Chrissaire

It’s a gloomy afternoon here in Quezon City; and I have decided to spend my afternoon at home. The sky was filled with thick dark clouds- a site promising the anxious earth for another rainfall. Silence was all over the place. Aside from the sound of the electric fan inside my room, nothing else dared to break the ice.

Being away on my own have not only brought me the acquaintance with people of different personalities. Back in Cebu, I have a secluded world. And it’s a choice! And I love it. I have a crowd limited to my family and friends. Not that I am less daring to unravel other’s personalities. It’s just that I am happy with just these people around me. Now, here in Manila….I am standing in the other edge of the beam. I am living- and practically sleeping with people I only knew in the classroom before. I wake up and live my day having to deal with other people’s tact and sarcasm. But more importantly, this experience has given me enough time to know myself better.

Every time I have to endulge myself for another encounter with other people’s difference I came to realize that I am actually endulging in my own self-rendezvous as well. It is only now that I have confirmed that the experience in the past have truly carved a permanent set of values in my being. I realized that I am silent and quiet. I realized that I am formal when at first I thought I was wacky and wild. I know where I got that trait. Jacy and I were trained by Manoy to be that way and to behave that way especially when we are in public. I just realized now that it has rooted from within me.

Here I am now…and still in the process of knowing my self even more. I hope my family will be proud knowing that I have inherently acquired the simplicity and humility of living that has always been in our home. Simple things…simple joys….that makes my day! I realized also the growth of patience in my soul. And that now that I am being tested with it, I am beginning to endure and succeed in the test.

More importantly, I have come to a realization that together with my pursuit to being so much more closer to God, I also need to take the time to befriend myself even more. Because in the long run…at the end of the day; when silence sets in and you have no one to talk to- you will end up in bed staring at your empty ceiling…yet still happy and contented because you know that when you close your eyes and your inner self begins to whisper you know that God will make his loving reply.

Tags: God, manila, Quezon City

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 2nd, 2005 at 11:27 am and is filed under My Journey. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.